Tonight I posted something on You Tube for my sister-in-law to see. It was a video I made of photos from our last vacation. H freaked. He is unbelievably paranoid about putting anything personal out in the open or on the web. Opposite to me; considering I want to be a writer. I want to put everything and anything out there. I don't want to hide behind what we're supposed to. I think about if this is supposed to be one of those things I compromise on. It makes me realize more and more I am still a fish out of water. This job I am currently in is not for me. (Not the job of wife- my profession.)
So what job is for me! Artist, theatre, writer, poet, bum?
I feel like I'm getting real close to not being able to stand it any more. And then I'm going to have to do what I'm supposed to. This is officially a down time in life. Shit- how quickly the tide turns. Wasn't I just happy as a clam? I probably was pretending- was I? Now I can't STAND it anymore.
This is what happens I guess when you take the hand out.
Despite this, though, I am lucky. I just read this back over and I can't help to think of that.
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